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“OD体育”外洋也有段子手:足球世界的冰与火之歌!

2021-06-02 02:16:02
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本文摘要:小同伴们大家好,接待来到本期的“外洋也有段子手”!上周的欧冠赛场精彩看点层出不穷,曼联主场不敌巴萨,热刺战胜曼城,利物浦轻取波尔图,尤文与阿贾克斯战平,阿森纳则在欧联杯中战胜那不勒斯。

小同伴们大家好,接待来到本期的“外洋也有段子手”!上周的欧冠赛场精彩看点层出不穷,曼联主场不敌巴萨,热刺战胜曼城,利物浦轻取波尔图,尤文与阿贾克斯战平,阿森纳则在欧联杯中战胜那不勒斯。周末联赛,利物浦战胜切尔西继续领跑,曼城、曼联纷纷取胜,而巴萨、尤文等队则接连丢分。

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好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!萨拉赫马内进球,利物浦2-0切尔西sarcastr0naut(利物浦球迷):角逐里这么多润滑剂的广告,为啥我们还是插不进去啊?(So many ads for lubricants, and yet we're still struggling with penetration.)ShunningResumed(布里斯托球迷):起码把你们滑倒了吧…(Might cause a slip though.)kaj1981(未知主队球迷):伊瓜因就像是在穿着牛仔裤跑步一样…(Higuain runs like he's wearing jeans.)GlumElderberry(切尔西球迷):我那只截了肢乌龟都比伊瓜因跑得快!(My amputated turtle would outpace Higuain, fucking hell.)Viktorenox(未知主队球迷):萨拉赫绝对是最不及格的昙花一现!(Worst one season wonder ever.)ArizonaBong(罗达JC球迷):这就是你们说的炸弹,一发入魂炸进你们的球门啦!(There's your fucking bomb! Bombed it right into the top corner.)(注:之前有部门极端切尔西球迷讥笑萨拉赫为“炸弹袭击者”)斯特林梅开,曼城3-1 水晶宫Clashoftherats(利物浦球迷):如果德布劳内整个赛季都没伤病,曼城联赛恐怕又能得100分了!(If De Bruyne was fit the whole season, City would’ve probably finished on 100 again.)SwitzerlandNotInEU(未知主队球迷):唉,可怜的曼城,这个赛季也就只能得98分了...(Poor City will have to finish on 98 instead :(Kolarovmcfc(曼城球迷):看得我裤子都湿了…(My pants are wet.)TortoiseT(比利时球迷):当传球比进球更值得打一发飞机时,你就知道那肯定是丁丁的助攻!(You know it's a KdB assist when wank more over the assist than the actual goal.)Guevarra25(未知主队球迷):我坚信德布劳内眼里的世界都是慢行动!(Im convinced De Bruyne sees things in slow motion.)Whatisthescen(阿森纳球迷):哈哈,瓜瓜和阿尔特塔的侧入式是我最新喜欢的庆祝行动!(Haha Pep spooning Arteta is my new favourite celebration.)卢克-肖乌龙,曼联0-1巴塞罗那LosTerminators(巴萨球迷):我们在欧冠客场还是进不了球,还好你们红魔球员给帮助进了一个…(And we can't score outside Camp Nou in CL, so your player did the job for us.)FatherOop(纽约城球迷):巴萨这看起来像是在给周末踢韦斯卡留力啊!(Barcelona frankly looked like they were conserving energy for Huesca.)Twersx(曼联球迷):我们的体现其实不错,说实话,我魔能坚持到1/4决赛已经凌驾了我的预期,被淘汰也问心无愧了!(Good game. tbh quarterfinal is already beyond my expectation, we can smile even if being knocked out.)Cerxa(未知主队球迷):卢克-肖:倘若我问心有愧呢?(Except Shaw.)C罗进球,尤文图斯1-1阿贾克斯NoTheShitposter(波尔图球迷):踢欧冠的时候有C罗,这简直就是在作弊!(Having Ronaldo for your team in the CL is like cheating at this point.)Demonationz(斯旺西球迷):就算你再设法不睡觉,C罗还是能泛起在你的噩梦里!(You may keep awakebut Ronaldo is still in your nightmares after.)WaxFaster(尤文球迷):尼玛,阿贾克斯这传球就像是玩FIFA的传奇模式一样!(Ajax passing is like playing FIFA on legend mode holy shit.)popoley4221998(热刺球迷):我愿意将我左边的蛋蛋捐出去,来换取阿贾克斯进入四强…(I would've given my left nut for Ajax to get to the semis.)tehMadher(阿贾克斯球迷):我们掌控角逐太久了,看来C罗的进球马上就要来了…(We're dominating so much that I feel another Ronaldo goal is coming soon.)afcaMouz(阿贾克斯球迷):就像我们踢皇马那场一样,射10次才气换来1个进球,而C罗只需要1次实验就进球了…(Just like against Real Madrid we score 1 goal for every 10 attempts, whereas Ronaldo only needs 1 attempt.)孙兴慜进球,热刺1-0曼城sto_248(利物浦球迷):孙纳尔多!(SONALDO!)Kresbot(英格兰球迷):齐达内已经去找孙兴慜的地址了!(Zidane wants to know his location.)Tklfillerz(曼联球迷):作为正在服兵役的韩国人,我只想说...孙兴慜被免兵役真的是谢天谢地了…(As a guy currently serving in the korean army I can say... thank God Son got exempted.)OhShitItsSeth(热刺球迷):说真的,如果孙兴慜真的去到场统一朝韩的战争会怎样呢?(Seriously. What if he was to unite the North and South?)Ilholtstilin(热刺球迷):请认真告诉我,岂非你不想随着孙兴慜一起上前线吗?(Tell me with a straight face you wouldn't follow this guy into battle.)SiriPickLips(美国球迷):不想。(No.)凯塔菲米进球,利物浦2-0波尔图Axelthegreat(马竞球迷):2-0的比分是最危险的领先了,看来利物浦铁定被淘汰出局!(2-0 is the most dangerous lead. Liverpool look to be going out.)Ze4npis(AC米兰球迷):其实3个才是最危险的。(No, 3-0 is the most dangerous.)Anymotora(巴黎球迷):哦?(ahhh?)Jyoung59(阿森纳球迷):几个月都不进球,而这一周内就进了俩,凯塔这是被排除封印了?(Two goals in the span of a week, after not scoring in a several months, Keita unlocked.)Blodyck(本菲卡球迷):利物浦球迷对卡西利亚斯的礼遇,比皇马球迷还要多…(The moment when Liverpool fans appreciate Casillas more than Real Madrid fans.)拉姆塞进球,阿森纳2-0那不勒斯BigFaxxx(未知主队球迷):你厂这主场踢得像巴萨,客场立马就酿成伯恩利了。

(Barca at home, Burnley away from home.)Munkysnuflz(奥斯丁球迷):这是伯恩利被黑得最惨的一次...(Too harsh on Burnley.)BCastle18(皇马球迷):如果阿森纳的客场结果能跟主场踢得一样,那绝对就是世界最佳球队了!(If Arsenal played away games like they did home games they'd be the best team in the world lmao.)Robozomb(阿森纳球迷):我们能不能给酋长球场装上轮子,然后每次客场都把它带已往?(Can we just put wheels on the Emirates and just bring it with us wherever we play?)小基恩进球,尤文1-2斯帕尔DankestOfFranks(未知主队球迷):小基恩进球就像我拉翔一样容易,天天都得来个一两次!(This kid scores goals like I take shits. Once a day and sometimes twice.)Goldaniga(尤文球迷):来啊,小基恩老爹拖拉机的钱我出了!(Cum on I’ll pay for his father’s tractors.)(注:小基恩的父亲曾表现尤文欠他两台拖拉机)好了,亲爱的小同伴们,本期的“外洋也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们越发精彩的犀利吐槽吧!(本文泉源于懂球帝,部门内容有所删除,如侵权请联系删除)​。


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